My Life. My Blog.

My Menopause Journey

Let me introduce myself! I'm Kathryn and I'm 49 years old and just starting my menopause journey. Being a nurse who has worked in women's health for part of her career I always thought I would have all the answers....... Well how wrong was I.

I suppose I've had a slow build up really , just pushed it to the back of my head. I hadn't noticed that my periods were becoming erratic as life just got in the way. I had a busy home and work life so i suppose not having them to think about made life easier.

BOOM...The flushes started

Then it dawned on me that things were changing, I felt different, my mood was low, I can't quite explain how but it just did, my body ached, I wasn't sleeping and then BOOM.....the flushes started.

Piecing it all together made me quite sad, being a mum of 3 teenage children I knew I didn't want any more children, but this was so final, out of my hands, I had no control over it. I know I was being overly hard on myself but its all I could think about, plus I didn't want to admit that it was really happening, as the menopause affects middle aged women, right? and I'm not middle aged, am I?

I Felt Embarrassed

I didn't tell a sole at first, not even my husband as I'm ashamed to admit it but I felt embarrassed. I didn't want to admit this was happening to me, I wanted to hold on to being a young woman, maybe he wouldn't love me as much if he knew? Or look at me differently.

Its quite a big secret to keep to yourself, it became overwhelming to the point I found I was becoming paranoid that people no longer wanted to spend time with me. I analysed situations so deeply and overthinking, my god did I overthink things that really should never have been given a second thought.

I felt Invisible

This may sound vain to some, but I started to feel invisible, there once was a time when I could dress nice and go out and feel a vibrant young woman, but I'm not that woman anymore am I? I can't compete with the beautiful young women who seem so carefree. Irrational I know, but rational was not what my brain was being!

I was tired and emotional that each day was getting harder so i knew something needed to change. I needed to take control of this before it completely consumed me. That's when I thought of documenting my journey, I enjoy writing as I find I can express myself and get my feelings across on paper, so lets give this a go:

During this Blog I intend to be as open and honest about symptoms, emotions, family life, work life and life in general and hope that we can share experiences, tips and coping strategies. So lets build a little community of like-minded women who can talk freely about anything during this time of transition. I look forward to sharing this journey with you..

"Menopause is a powerful reminder of a woman's strength and ability to adapt to change"

Unknown